Sometimes even well-intended managers act in ways that they’re ashamed of. Take Jan, for example. Jan is known for his slightly off-key and mildly insulting humor — it’s even been noted as one of his strengths. He gets the laughs. But he’s told me that he cringes every time he makes a joke at someone else’s expense. He despises the fact that his behavior directly contradicts his personal values. And yet he continues. Then there’s Marty, who is lauded for her ability to pick the “right” person for a job. Deep in her heart, though, Marty is ashamed of herself. She knows that she’s more often than not chosen the “acceptable” person over the right person. And in her organization that means that, at a certain level, it’s a man and he’s white.